Shoot Your Shot 2020: For That Special Lady

“Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I choose youuuuuuu…

– “I Choose You” by Willie Hutch

The following conversation was overheard at a recent cookout:

“Have you seen that big bottle of Brown?”

“It’s right here!”

“Perfect! It was so nice of Eric Holder to bring over a brand new bottle. This really is a special occasion.”

“Yes it is! Uncle Joe’s +1 is gonna be here any moment now! We’ve gotta give her a warm, ‘Rona-compliant welcome.”

“No doubt! So how are are we looking on food?”

“I think we’re set. The pulled pork is almost ready, Bernie brought over some ribs, and – “

“Wait, Bernie brought over ribs?”

“Yes! I was surprised too! And they’re really good! I tried one after he left, because ‘Bernie brought some ribs’, and they’re tender AND well-seasoned! I swear you’d never guess that he’s from Vermont.”

“Well I’ll be damned!”

“I know!”

“Did anyone else bring over some food?”

“Well, Amy, Beto, and Julián, and Tulsi brought over brisket, enchiladas, hot dish, and a big jug of Hawaiian Punch. Now, if you’re wondering which person brought which item, I promise that your first guess is probably wrong.”

“Hahahaha! I won’t even try right now.”

“So…who do you think Uncle Joe is inviting?”

“I really think it depends on what route he wants to take. If he wants someone with campaign experience, he’ll pick Kamala Harris. If he wants someone with foreign policy experience, he’ll pick Susan Rice. And if he’s looking for someone with grassroots organizing experience, he’ll pick Karen Bass. All three have strengths and would embarrass Mike Pence on national television.”

“Nope. Neither one.”

“Hey, I’ve always wondered, is Ambassador Rice related -“

“No, they’re not related.”

“Oh, but what about -“

“Nope. They’re not related either.”

“Oh. So, [joyful whispering] do you really think Uncle Joe’s gonna pick a sista?!?”

“I really think so, though I hope we didn’t jinx it when we hung up the pictures of Shirley Chisholm and Carol Moseley-Braun near The Big Table. There are some other women of color he’s considering, such as Michelle Lujan Grisham from New Mexico of Tammy Duckworth from Illinois, but it seems like he’s leaning toward a Black woman.”

“It sounds like you’re pretty sure that his choice will be a woman of color.”

“Without women of color, especially Black women, Uncle Joe would’ve been on his way home with a sammich and leftover Partna months ago. I think it’s near certain.”

“So the Auntie Rule applies here?”

“Oh yes! If he picks a white woman, she better be amaaaaazing! And she may still have to prove herself! I mean, Elizabeth Warren is pretty popular, even though it would put a Senate seat at risk. And Gretchen Whitmer from Michigan has a song, but is that enough to win over Auntie? Not sure.

“Honestly, as long as he doesn’t pick Tulsi, I’m good with just about anyone he picks.”

“The fact that she decided to just drop something off lets me know that she knows. And we might not even serve that!”

[Doorbell Ring]

“OH! Looks like the time has come! Let’s go see who arrives….”

[Open Door]

“Well Hello!!! Welcome to the Cookout! Here, let me check your temperature…”

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