“Hey, I won a delegate. So many people have left too. So this means I can come sit at The Big Table Right? Hello? Hello?
– Anonymous
The following conversation took place at a recent cookout:
“How’s everything looking?”
“The fish is almost ready. Got the hushpuppies and coleslaw ready as well.”
“Cool, but we’re missing one side dish,”
“Oooh, forgot to mention it. The spaghetti is on the stove and will be ready soon.”
“Great, we’ll throw in a slice of white bread and have it ready for Uncle Joe at 7pm.”
“Wait, are you that confident that he’s gonna win it?”
“Uncle Joe is up by 55 points here. He’s reaching Popeye’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich levels ’round here!”
“Dang, I guess you’re right. So is this the only dish we’re serving tonight.”
“Oh no! We’ll actually have a pretty nice spread tonight!
- Hawaii is bringing some fresh pineapples, because of course they are;
- Idaho is bringing a few Baked Potatoes, because of course they are;
- Michigan is bringing a Detroit Square Pizza;
- Missouri is bringing some burnt ends from Kansas City;
- North Dakota is bringing [checks notes] Knoephla, which appears to be a soups with potatoes;
- And Washington is bringing Smoked Salmon.
But let’s be clear, the catfish plate is the star of the show this evening.”
“What are the chances that Bernie can get himself back in The Big Chair?”
“It’s not looking good for him. Uncle Joe is ahead in most of these states. He’s also been endorsed by Kamala Harris and Cory Booker, giving him 4 endorsements from former Big Table guests. But I guess nothing is certain until the votes are counted.”
“Yeah, the only thing we can be certain about is that spaghetti is a perfect side dish for catfish plates. That’s the hill I’m willing to die on.”
“I’m right there with you.”
“Welp, let’s go vote and see where all this food ends up.”
Notes From The Cookout 
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